Just back from STJ. Rather tiring.. but also rather eventful as well. in fact, a rather eventful n interesting day as well.

CIP was a bit over-kill.. we had a ratio of 6 students to 1 elderly.. which was quite imbalanced. so the elderly recieved much care, which is a good thing anyway. had much chance to practice my hokkien n used it to a moderate level of success... knowing one more language seems to be able to give one an additional edge.. but anyway, if i only i knew some cool 3rd language like jap or french.. but then again... i'm nt as linguistically capable as i wished to be.. so i shuld stop day-dreaming :p Interestingly, quite a bit of pple that i know went for the CIP, so had many pple to talk to n all, so quite okay n cool. Nothing to out of the ordinary.. then went LAN. enjoyed myself there but a bit messy at the start though.. but still quite fun :D

Then, STJ. Had a great time waiting for a lot of pple.. keep on walking in n out of the glasshouse. some were horribly late.. but watever lar... the fact that they even turned out surprises me greatly~ haha.. had it at fish n co. some juniors a bit not so "auto", being rude to the waitresses n all.. anyway, i feel a bit odd, coz i had to walk ard a lot.. talking to everyone, from seniors, great grand ones as well, to juniors to my classmates, trying to like entertain everyone as much as possible. but anyway, hope that most pple enjoyed themselves. had some rather entertaining parts when my classmates n i were "bitching" a bit~
then the most exciting was the fake photo shoot thingy. our intended target, me n my PRO fren, n the taker r in a line. then me n my PRO fren are the "fake" target, then on the count of 3, we ducked n snapped the intended target.. sounds a bit sian, but the actual thing was really very hilarious, especially the intended target is 2 person tgt.. anyway, my descriptive skills not so good lar... watever~
then went to play the game.. had this junior whom refused to give up, when playing the drawing circle game... which he lasted 1hour 10mins plus
amazingly irritating... coz everyone by then was quite pissed abt the situation.. then the mood was kinda not so good. 2nd game, pokey game, oso gt some not so good events occuring, which i think it wont be good to say at all... so the nite didnt end up on too gd a note. hope that the involved parties would let it go... n not to worry abt it.. but then again, talk is cheap.
anyway, last year was a comparitively more fun.. dont know y.. but anything lar.. enjoyed myself nevertheless as well today :)

Sculpted@1:12 am

Just into the middle of a really very tiring week.
mon n wed, CO. tues n thurs, soccer. friday, interact. sat, CIP n STJ. Sunday, muggin day.
wat a killer... anyway, have more or less used to such a demanding schedule. hopefully, be able to do suffice work this weekend to make up for my slacking last week.

class situation is getting from bad to very worse... ever since school start, watever "unity" has gone down the drain. really a alarming and depressing sight. have decided to attempt to salvage the situation.. hopefully will be successful, and the cliques would be broken down some wat?
maybe i'm still being too hopeful for the class.. but it is seriously damm sad to leave it hanging by the thread.. also, "people in power" are not doing anything productive to solve this situation, in fact.. they are sometimes making it worse by concreting the various cliques...
some people r beyond hope liao though... but still they r a few remaining, which much could be done to improve the current situation drastically. hopefully, things would get better... as in i'm sure some of them wont hope the situation to be so poor as well.. so in line wif my new year resolution/wish, shall commence operation remedy.

Sculpted@11:15 pm

short entry today...

back from junior class outing. very very surprised by their high turnout rate n "on-ness". guess that it's just individuals in my class that result in my current class situations, n that i've been over-generalising pple too much, branding them too much? :( learning point... but still, my junior class surpasses my class in many aspects.. and leaves me wondering many a things... guess that locals aint not much diff in many previously invisible perspectives.

winter is still prevelant, though the view could be lovely from certain angles. yet, doesnt one always yearn for the freshness and vibrance that spring brings along wif it?
maybe, just have to adapt or evolve winter into spring... takes time but will be worth it. after putting in so much efforts in the past, it is be a waste for things to go to waste.. then again, there's nothing that can be done, if the northern wind(s) continues to blow sharply.

Sculpted@1:10 am

okie.. blogging time again..
just gt invitation to my junior class blog today.. might go spam later. muhahah :D

anyway, slight update.. school is okay.. but getting routine again.. work, eat, cca, home. nothing really out of blue..
one note must be made of my new econs tutor, mr. koh. quite a cool guy, with us being his only class. he was saying smtg like personal attention for essay writing. -_-" but i'm very glad to have him, as in this way, econs would be taken off :) wont disappoint him~

realise that things r indeed much much more different from the past year. it has evolved, and not necesasrily in the good sense from my POV. but i'm glad that i've been able to practice more tolerance of many many things. i see many many things.. but i choose not to say, not to comment, but it still bothers me. sometimes, the littlest of actions, body language, body direction, eye contact signals a lot to me.. somehow, i feel that my eyes are kept perfect for a reason.. to observe n to register. but to comment/question remains the function of my mouth, which i have a very poor control over.
been met wif many rather disappoinitng series of events, things that really make one lose faith in the frenship, events that just leave u wondering whether the people involved were ever interested in the frenship, the bond u felt n the feel u ever just simply evapourated. when putting in the effort to attempt to make things warm again, ice is shot back readily. it just make one feel so gutted in the heart...
n when it's from a majority aspect of one's life.. it can get real demoralising.. from CCAs, from class, from others... it just makes one shut off from them, but yet u have to face them, talk to them, feeling the shallowness and chill of the talk, which was once heart to heart and warm.
i cant do much but adopt a passive attitude towards such situations... active efforts been put in for so long... n when nothing significant comes back in return, it just feels like a very hard slap to the face. maybe i'm just too gullible.. too readily to help others and be kind n nice to them..
yet if i deny myself this flame of emotion when i feel cold enuff, i fear that it would eventually freeze over... slowly, i feel the blizzard descending, where would be my warmbringer in the face of the snow?
yet to not deny, it would only open up to more disappointments... though have harden myself to it, buy when they come in combos, it seriously take much out of me...
so now.. will adopt a much more passive attitude in the future..
i have a limited amount of blood to bleed out.

Sculpted@11:25 pm

i think i did quite a bit of work today...
too much in fact i think, making up for all those that i shuld have done long ago.. but it seems that i still have much to do :(
the neverending sight of work :(
i really dread mondays... lesson till 4.40 wif only 1 break. 3 lects in one day. it's kinda insane. to top it of, have to go TCHS for morning assembly!!??!!
shall have to continue to keep up wif my work rate in terms of fitness trng as well as work. play less DoTA would be the key, but it is always so tempting...

apparently i gt no 'S' papers, thanks to me failing f maths by 1 miserable mark. arh well... wake up call to get wat i still can get. singapore universities it will be, unless a miracle happens? anyway, hope most of my frens would be staying in singapore for their tertiary education, so it would still be good. maybe for Ma/Ba, then go overseas when i have the cash. anyways, it slightly depressing to look/plan for the future. coz it seems that after jc, then army, then uni, then job, then retirement.
sounds bleak? maybe i bit persimistic, but then there would always be room for surprises :D

just require a spark, and it will burn brightly and passionately.

wat i really hope is just that at the end of the day, i would still have to be able to keep in contact wif my frens. they r impt to me, so is my family. i'm glad i learn to cherish them more nowadays, though sometimes, i get a bit over-sensitive, so do forgive me here n there, if i'm too rash or wat :P

okay.. time to slp.

Sculpted@1:41 am

i just realise that my new blog doesnt allow the title to be shown... i too lazy to go tinker wif the html code again, so shall leave it as that.

anyways, most important, is the coverage of the event of the jc1 campfire!
firstly, to get into the mood, have to be a j1, so i happily don on my cat high uniform again. feels gd to wear it again. after all, been so long, since i last wore that. so quite cool, but just that the shorts are still really short... hrmm... ...

anyway, b4 that was busy wif the judging n improving of my fact. item and flag. a bit "surprised" that the anagram flag didnt get the top prize... cant believe that a few broken cds can beat the meaning and symbolism that is unique to an anagram only. so i really have my doubts on the judging... but anyway, the item winner was truly deserving. much more creativity was present this year than last, so much credit has to go to the juniors. rather impressive :)

then was the usual but always fun dance/song session. kinda feeling a v.painful thoart now, after all the shoutings, cheerings, and singing, but was very well worth it. was trying to find my fren to dance.. but apparently not successful, so gave up after awhile, no point hanging on. anyways, bumped into another fren of mine, then gt a short n funny scene, where there was like 3 guys n 3 girls, all looking @ each other, wondering wat's next, then delaying for awhile. actually, solution = just pair up, but somehow was damm funny. maybe... a bit dumb? haha :p

my class juniors are really impressive. they were more "on" than us. i feel put to shame, especially after the comments i made. probably it's just my classmates, different pple, diff attitudes and styles. arh well.. used to it. haiz.... looks like my fren's "half-half mix = not ON" theory is quite true. so glad that my junior class is really getting on well, and things would be looking bright! stayed late quite a bit and played games, including stupid forfeits like pillar dancing which somehow i was roped/forced to do as well... all thanks to my classmates. arh well.. in due time, i'll get back my revenge. hrmpf~

hrmm... 1st wk has been busy enuff, wif tests, tutorials, CCAs!!, fact. stuff to do. teaching dance is such a horrific but memorable experience. worse still is the fact that when one's dance partner is very experienced and one is a noob (newbie) in dancing, it makes things really quite paiseh for oneself :( but arh well, learning experience and a very interesting memory, albeit a bit "throw face". just my luck that i cant shake my butt as well, and contrast out how gd my partner is. but still is quite a shuang experience to like be standing there and teaching 100+ pple, making them learn smtg which one has spent much time n energy chereographing is a great reward. at the end of the day, no matter how badly i would look on stage or wat :p, as long as the juniors can deliver the dance nicely, it would be good enuff. thinking of the time where on CNY i have to dance on the stage in front of dont know how many many many people gives me the jibes.... haiz... worry about it later :(

been a fulfilling and adrenaline pumping week! think much of my reserves been depleted, gt to save a bit for the mugging due to come sooner or later. been so far keeping to my new year wish and task(s). 1/52 done, 51 wks more to go~

Sculpted@2:34 am

Alea iacta est.

When stepping in thru the pearly gates of HC, it will mark the start of the remaining 50% of my journey there. Though it probably wont end abruptly after j2, but i'm not really keeping my hopes up. Through the previous gruelling year in HC, i realised that individual friendships flourish, but team/group spirit fails. It seem always a challenge and task to involve all, but yet it has seldom been met wif any success. Wif the coming of the new year, time is not kind on me, wif the coming up of the commitments of my various ccas, the colliding wif homework and tests, things will be hectic and tough. Meanwhile frenships will be continually maintained and progressed if possible, which would probably be the most demanding of all my resources.

Time indeed has flown pass hastily. 2004 was full of events, memories, achievements, failures, mistakes, lessons and adventure.

The mistake of the year would be foolish enuff to ran for CO ex-co. The idea and excution of the process, as well as, the change of the elected makes it disappointing. Apparently, fortune favours those that curry.

Regret of the year would be not to have run for Interact Ex-co. Although not gurantee of success, but the idea and process appealed to me. Not running for it, is a closely linked incident wif my mistake of the year. As compared to others, interact ex-co is better and cohesive.

Joke of the year had many candidates, including my flopped huang cheng audition, but wat come up top would have to me being the Song, Cheer, Dance IC of my factulty. As mentioned b4, i cannot sing for nuts, haev ZERO dancing knowledge/experience. the only thing i can do is to cheer wif regards to the role. Anyways, it was a privilage to have an experienced dance partner. Much credit has to be hers for coming up wif the dance and all. I allocate much respect for her.

Surprise of the year is the hardest to decide, for i was truly touched and delightful surprised many things that my frens have done for me. As such, i cannot really decide btw all those acts, but mention has to go to a few gd frens of mine, whom would make special efforts to help me, talk to me when i'm down/disappointed/etc.

I would like to thank them for their kind and encouraging words and acts :)

In HC, i have gained wat i kinda lacked in my previous years : really gd and caring frens. Though there were occassional arguements and disputes between, but i'm still really appreciative that still the friendship remains intact, strengthen by the frictions. Wat i dream and hope for is that in my twilight years, i can still be able to keep in contact and to talk n regale the eventful past. However, wat i have lost somewat in HC, is my confidence. This is gd to a extent, for it serves well to blow my ego, for through my prev. years, i have became arrogant as testified by some. It has indeed been beneficial for me. Yet, still sometimes, it can be said that too much confidence is lost, till the point that i was terrified of things previously that i was never worried of.

To sum up 2004, the gains and losts has been much and more. Emotionally, turmoil was great, and i have learned much from it and benefitted from it. Academically, i have slumped, though i gt some gd progress award (?).

In 2005, my hopes would be of better unity of the class, having an excellent junior class, good results, and the "A" division championship. Most importantly, to keep and progress my relationships wif my family and frens :)

absit invidia

Sculpted@10:34 pm

yay! i feel rather accomplished!
i have set up a new design, got it from a nice guy, edited n tinkered around wif it for awhile, and made it as u all can see!

anyways, school restarting soon
i not going to blog much now..
probably at a later period, going to blog bit more.. but that depends on whether my hwork allows me too.

okay.. till then!

2005 = mug hard!

Sculpted@1:26 am