not much inspiration to blog right now.. but then again, feeling rather bored.. so might as well.
screwed big time on phys today. hrmm.. i cant get away wif not studying at all. but some how the effect of screwing is exponential. the less u study, the even more u dont know how to do.. n worse still, made real careless mistakes which would make one puke when one get the paper back. alamak. sian.. goin to go to jewels for phys liao.. maybe i shuld start doing the tutorials again.. arh well.

gt quite a few days to study for f maths. shall slack for one day, then start doing a bit of studyin/practising on the others. out of things to blog...

Sculpted@11:19 pm

arh.. a long time since i last blogged. maybe i created the false impression that i been muggin really hard. however, as i say, it is just a false impression. i've been rather busy wif cca, which burned away like more than half of my "holiday" and thus leaving me wif not much time left to study. in fact, i have study so little, i think i might barely scrap passes for this block test. so yeah, wish me much luck.

went to watch huang cheng ye yun yesterday. the standard is really deproving. it's nt really the quality of the actors or props or lights or music. it's the standard of the engagement n depth of the plays themselves. the 1st one was gd. required much thinking n it allows one to reflect on oneself, thinking of the mistakes that we might make, n nt to commit them or to recitfy them asap. it was insightful n gd.
the 2nd one was just non-stop yakking. i gt damm bored by their continuous crapping. pointless yakking.. really lar.. i gt the impression that it was meant to drag time or wat.. even though it started off quite well.. as it got along, it became rather dry.
the 3rd one i watched only half, for reasons i will explain later. on my way home, i could more or less guessed out the entire plot of the story via asking my fren a few simple questions. it's gettin predictable n losing the dynamic sense of drama. it's like those channel 8 stuff... alamak.. hope they do much better nxt yr~

half way thru the 2nd play yest nite, i had gastric. gobbled down rather expensive food, brought at the cafe there.. n somehow the gastric didnt subside. in fact, it even climaxed mid-way thru the 3rd play, that's y i had to leave halfway. when one is down n out, help comes in many ways. this time, it was in the form of the guard at the VT. contrary to popular belief, the guard is nt a 50+ uncle wif a pot-belly. but it's a 20+ guy whom really saved me that day. he gave me some hot drinks, chocs n that made me feel really much better. basically, he was really a damm nice guy. no wonder he has like dont know how many girlfrens... current one is some executive whom is damm chio n rich according to him. alamak.. he has it all lar.. anyway, chatted wif him instead of goin back to watch the play lar.. he taught a few tricks n tips about soccer as well (he was a striker). he could be boasting abt it.. but i dont see any pt boastin to a 18 yr old jc student.. but really, gt to thank the guy (alroy) for savin me from my gastric.. if nt, i really would have taken a cab home straight away. shall repay this debt to him nxt time~

anyways, on another note, i gt this particular fren of mine. knew since secondary school days. recently in the past months, i sense something really amiss.. last time, could chat n talk freely, but nowadays, i'm getting monosyallbic replies to everything.. it hurts to see a nice frenship degenerate to such an deplorable state, w/o knowing the reason y n how to save it. worse still, it becomes one sided, n it just cant seem to work anymore..

memories are wonderful stuff. they enable one to just have a glimpse of the place n the entire event would replay itself in vivid colours, as if history was rewinding n showcasin it to u again. yet they can be deceptively painfully, while one dwells on these happy past memories, the realisation that these events would possibly nvr occur again can simply reduce one to tears.
the memories i have wif me r plentiful.. n mostly beautiful. yet i hesitate to visit these places, or look at certain items once again, for the pain n regret generated is simply too painful. maybe the past doesnt let me escape.. i can only look forward to each day wif renewed hope n smiles.

Sculpted@12:26 am

was kinda paiseh today during CT session. had this guest lecturer.. n was wanting to ask him a question.. wait there for like 10 mins? then he ended the lecture w/o letting me answer.. arh well.. bit throw face lar.. but haha.. but it's these kinda of interesting things that one remembers and learns to cope wif it. anyways, dont know whether it's useful or not, but i went to find the person after the talk n apparently, he's organisin a private session for a few pple to ace the interview thingy.. so yeah, i'm one of them. haha.. so looks like being embarassed has its rewards. besides, being watched by ur entire cohort is rather unnerving.. but a very gd learning point. to keep ur composure? but anyways, it's quite a laughable experience at the end of the day? haha :D

Sculpted@10:02 pm

To expect is one of the most not so correct things to do..

u see.. when one expects, there are 2 results

1) u dont get it. this results in there being quite some unhappy events usually and unhappy feelings, which i shallnt bother elaborating
2) u get it. this results in u being moderately happy for recieving. but it wont result u in being really happy n more imptly, one wont be that grateful for blessing recieved, for it would be taken for granted.

obviously, this is aint so desirable.

when one doesnt expects, there are 2 results.

1) u dont get anything. since one aint expecting anything in the 1st place, nt recieving doesnt affects, so one can continue wif life n all.
2) u get something. this is a call for celebration!! celebration for surge of joy that one gets n the happy feelings there after~ also, it would possibly result in one being grateful n thankful for the surprise :)

* assuming happy stuff only :) *

obviously, this is better.
i have remembered the times of expecting n recieving, as compared to the times of surprises, i didnt feel as happy n enjoyable. surprises are n will always be to me a surprise, filled wif much shock, joy n adrenaline happiness. on stark contrast, the times of expectin n nt recieving r one of the most crushing feelings ever felt.

Conclusion: Dont expect. If recieve, celebrate! If not, just smile n continue walking :)

Sculpted@11:33 pm

okay. i think i more or less decide on 2 or 17 for the soccer jersey number. 2 coz it's the only even prime number, n it's unique. 17 coz it's prime n i like the way it looks. some sublimal thingy for me.. n i kinda consider prime numbers only. dont know why?

kinda realise that BT is round the corner. that's a bad sign considering my pile of work. shall mug for the march holidays... then again, could be another unsuccessful pledge to work hard again. haha :)

i'm glad for the things in life. the ups n downs, the success n failures, the frens n fun that i also have. i realise that recently i been in a rather permanent good mood. seems that been more able to take things in my stride more easily n readily. even when met wif issues previously that would have invoked fury, disappointment or sadness or etc, nowadays, i just seem to smile through it :)

Sculpted@11:02 pm

oh yes, one thing made clear today. squad selection have finally been made. n i'm selected. i don't feel over the moon or wat.. but still rather delighted at making the cut into the team.. after all the hardwork n training, it feels nice to get rewarded. shall work harder from now on.. have to train up my fitness n etc.. then hopefully can get far into the tournament :)

oh yar.. any suggestions for my squad number? i was thinking of 17? suggestion pls :)

Sculpted@9:22 pm

when fear, anxiety, confusion, deliberation are all released together in a simultaneous moment, it can really feel great. while the result may be pending, but it feels so good to get smtg off one's chest. watever the result, i will be waiting. be it gd or bad, i will face it, after all, Alea iacta est.

Sculpted@12:58 am