the book in blues are starting to set in now... the standard mega-sian feeling. well, it aint as bad as tekong's but still it's there. at least i can look forward to a very possibly highly exciting weekend! provided there's no confinement. to each friday evening i look to, to each sunday night i ignore.
had quite a high expenditure but enjoyable saturday. watched ultraviolet wif lj n py.. guessed i picked the wrong show this time around.. but at least the actress redemned some of the ticket fare. then walked around, checking out sax lessons at yamaha. and the 2k instruments ended any desire to pick up such lessons. at least i gt a new set of earphones to show for the 2 hours worth of shopping, and had some dumb fun with the xbox 360 king kong game. then upon lj's instigation, dinner was at NYDC coz he wanted to be served by py and he made it a point to be difficult throughout the whole meal. and the rest of us (sihan n ben) gt much laughs out of it. next up was a pub at boat quay, which was quite nice, coz the beer was brewed specially by the pub itself and tasted rather refreshing. top it off was the pleasant atmosphere and company + soccer on tv. somehow in pubs, there seem to much more chat on things closer to heart. and i gt dragged out to supper at geylang lar.. nearly lost the way and went thru some "red-light" places which i must admit i went out of the way to siam.
help mum wif papers delivery early in the morning and sneaked in 2 hours of rest b4 went to meet up wif my BMT section for lunch. sakura buffet was the venue, and i really did stuff myself much wif food, be it jap, western or chinese. and of coz, many many scoops of ice cream and cups of green tea. it was interesting to hear all the different stories from my sect. mates about their experiences at the various camps. n many of them were complaining about how they wish they were back in BMT, where the entire section was cohesive unlike their current ones. personally, i'm fine wif either as of now.. coz i only know my air force mates for only a week.. though these pple would be wif me till ORD, but i'm not sure of how it would turn out.
recently i feel that something is very wrong wif me. i cant really explain it, but i've this odd feeling at times which makes me feel really down. this feeling that i've screwed up rather much recently, in many areas. and i feel very much helpless on how to salvage the situation, and i would just think and think on possible solutions and often coming up empty-handed. i very much want to apologise to those i've offended or not helped, yet whenever i realise my mistakes it's already too late or the situation becomes difficult to say sorry alrdy. physically i may have adapted to army, mentally around there as well, but subconsiously, something is still hay-wired and my senses are kinda messed up and dull. something is just missing. yet very occasionally, i feel high and happy, and i smile myself to sleep. an action or word can sometimes seem to totally make my day. accompanying it would be the floating feeling as i lay on the sponge bed and with my eyes closed, i feel so so relaxed and blissful even. the daily routine in camp doesn't affect much of my mood, it seems that the contact wif the outside world is the main determinant of my emotions.
i dont feel 18, going on 19. more like 14. i can only wish for more independence.
Sculpted@6:49 pm
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Awakened :)
Forging forward
Wishes
To enjoy injury-free soccer
Better understanding
Processing out more junk
