7.11.2007
it's nearly midnight and here i am, sitting in front of my camp office comp.
on the radio, is some retro lush 99.5 music, which i has always taken a liking too.
you guess it right, i'm feeling a bit emo and angsty.
a combination of factors has added up to be in this very very rare mood of mine, but yeah, all has perturbed me significantly.
the "BRILLIANT and DYNAMIC" management, that i work under, has once again found its way to prove itself. this time, in politics and back-stabbing. seriously, in the position i'm in, i ain't of neither threat nor responsibility to them, yet to my serious displeasure, i found a few knives impaled into my back.
it's wtf. my policy was never to egatively implicating others in my plans and i followed it to the line. and yet, some disillusioned bastard has found the time and energy to try out his newest knive stabbing skills. it is at these times, where i appreciate the need of secercy of one's plans, as demonstrated regularly by a fellow colleague.
that aside, another principle of mine has come under possible serious misunderstanding recently. i might be over reacting currently to the situation at hand, but for clarification sake, it has always been Bros over Hos.
it's in me to jest about the opposite, and chat about chasing skirts when in male company, but i could have been taken very very mistakenly in the scenario. this principle was derived from quite a painful personal lesson back in my sec. school days, and i'm in no interest to repeat that forgetable history all over again. i hope i dont need to reiterate my point further.
another pricky issue, which has now come to pass, involves me with another of my jc-mate. to sum it up, there was a severe communication break down between her and me. to the point, that there was plenty of tension for both sides. as always, i reflected upon the scenario.
had i been too pushy? no, she initated the meeting herself.
was i asking too much? no, she volunteered willingly.
did i offend her? no, by my standards.
but probably, in a million and one, by hers.
it's tiring to meet her ever-changing standards.
a very dependable friend told me :"girls will always be girls."
in army, there's a quote :"lan lan, suck thumb." which translate as "just bloody accept the fact!"
Sculpted@11:49 pm
7.03.2007
it's really amazing what a simple change of status can bring forth. though i knew being transplanted back to camp from blessed tekong would bring the shit out, but the intensity has left me stymied and very exhausted. just 2 bloody days of work was much more than the previous 6 months. what was once a commodity is now an luxury item.
but a very big redeeming point was the presence of the new trainees, which in due time, will take over my duties. the joyous feeling of getting out of conscription is slowly creeping into me, and it's probably the only thing that will hold me through this last few difficult months.
Sculpted@10:58 pm
