It has been a few rather interesting weeks.

Firstly, i got a taste of what uni life is about. and much thnx must go to the ladies whom facilitated my crashing into various lectures/seminars. especially since SMU are really quite the security-freaks, the ingenuity of sneaking in actually surprised me.

but most importantly, i think my aim of understanding which uni to choose has been achieved. sitting in the NUS LT, there only thing in my mind, i was back in HC!! to some that they be a wonderful thing with the association of familiarity attached to jc life and such. yet to some that really know, i would frankly say that my jc life wasnt all that rosy, colourful and fantastic that others had the luxury to experience. so to go to NUS and suffer 4 more years of woeful experience and with my intense distaste of the lecture-tutorial system would be unthinkable. vis-a-vis, SMU which utilises the seminar style seems to appeal vastly more to me. maybe it's the smaller class size and more focused attention or wat, but somehow, i feel more connected to the class and was able to take more out. that has obviously sway my decision to go SMU.
other than a successful application to a US uni, SMU would be second home for the nxt 4 years.

with regards to matters a whole lot closer to the heart, i think i might have a better understanding of how it works.
some random enlighten person told me this once : for things to work out, it takes a perfect combination of time/place/pple and chance. i mused frequently about the mis-timed/mis-opportunities in the past. yet for the 1st time in many moons, i suddenly felt a CLICK! it was those impulses where one would go realising "why didn't i thot of it earlier?!?!?!"

i thot abt and discussed with a choice few about it and realised that something key was missing and therefore impulses might always be but impulses. now, i think i can let it go, but one never knows wat the future holds? :p
however i realised that i was taking things OVERLY serious and she just wasnt enjoying. simple as it may seem, but critical it definitely is. many ages ago, i was impacted deeply with the words of "u ain't serious, u were just out to have fun" from one that was close. coupled along with rigidity and obvious lack of joy of NS, i realised i may have taken too serious and harsh stance towards relations that mattered. and probably lost out a plenty lot. many of u might have felt the brute of it, but as i attempt to correct it, i thank you for ur effort in helping me out :)

so as i reach the termination of my NS phrase of life, it starts to dawn on me the ability to appreciate things and of having fun. not at the expense of responsibility nor seriousness when called for. maybe i'm getting a little more hang of the thing called growing up.
but for now, it's time to enjoy and have fun!

when was the last time you did something (fun) for the first time?

Sculpted@8:36 pm

yay to wonderful beach-wear slippers! thnx, tsai :)
but lol to the way ur hair is all messed up and similar to a slping princess.

i wanted to say i had fun and enjoyed their company, but i cant lie, not to myself at least for this time round.

if getting on with life means leaving some others behind, by all means, go ahead. just don't disguise it, it's disgusting. it's one tough lesson i've already learn.

if u just wanna focus attention on urself and talk abt him every 3rd sentence, go ahead. just don't involve me anymore, it's disgusting. and yet, i thot i was only one being self-centred.

and i would be surprised if u did don't ignore this anymore.


edit : 12th august, 3.12pm

i woke up at 7++am and felt immediately perturbed. been giving plenty of thought about the whole matter, wondering whether i was too harsh about it.

yet i realised the only reason i might regret it, is the consequence. however, i realised the "feared" resulting scenario ain't that much different from the status quo. it's either i've been over-prioritising all the time or asking for similar priority is paramount to asking for the stars.

i, for sure, ain't wanna see things get sniffed out in this manner, yet such things can't be decided by my own.

you've my number. and on the very least, i would remember to reply/callback once i'm done being busy.
oh wait, i forgot, maybe u're really just too busy learning the "i'm-not-liable-to-anyone" shit.


edit 12th aug, 11.24pm

talking to my army mate made me realise i should be content. not that there's no issue or wat now, but just that it shouldn't be that radicalise as i might have previously thought. though i did wish the issues be resolved or migitated at the very least.

Sculpted@4:00 am

with the sudden cancellation of NDP duties for penultimate weekend b4 the real thing, i was suddenly left with nothing to do a home. as such, it is indeed a good time to blog once again about the guy that got backstabbed once again.

being the defender of the nation, he unfortunately, has to be part of frontline that safeguards the camp which in turn protects the nation's airspace. it was during one of these sacred defence duties that he realises internal threats from the back are always of significant damage to one than external ones that are always there.

constant viligance? definitely, but one's eyes must be towards one's rear.

when a defender of the nation meets another, common questions include: "when u ORD (ie. the date u get the hell out of that shit hole)?", "where u going after ORD?", not "How u gonna back-stab me today?" this is even more pertinent if the NSF were from similar backgrounds. one would and could expect mutual tolerance and acceptance on both parties if there's any slgiht deviation from the standard operating procedures. but yet the world is always cruel and likes to prove such unfounded beliefs wrong. what one sees is the actual "making small report" that happens so common in modern day office. lesson reinforced.

Sculpted@3:25 pm