In accordance with the wishes of Ise Tan LJ and Sperman Lim, I am to attempt to blog in perfect English. Punctual tenses, professional grammar phrasing and perfect structure. No easy feat at all, but let me indulge in it and give it a shot.

Actually, that very first paragraph was quite the torture. However, I do need the practice to write impeccably, so this is my daily chance.

So, today's topic of aimless rambling from me, would be on ... ... ...

Okay. Mind is in a state of blank, though it is swashed with conflicting inner talk. One side yells to me that I'm taking things too fast and I'm just mis-interpreting through preconceived notions, while another eggs me on and to plunge straight in.
I'm seriously thankful for the break week, that would be coming up. As mentioned, much much much sorting out to be done.

Sculpted@11:56 pm

once again, i failed to sleep early. okay, shall quit bitching and start blogging.

the wars in the operating theatre just got more exciting. even i was unwittingly involved in it :(
oh wells, it's quite unfortunate that even when a place where one could expect medical care and expertise to be of top most priority, there are signs of decadence. back-stabbing, bad-mounting, biased side-ing. sigh, it's quite a struggle to stay afloat against all these stuff.

on the bright, roped in "roy" to work as temp in the office. whoever said 3's a crowd eh? woohoo. pity "roy" only know have profound pedophilia tendencies. a very unhealthy sign, imo :X

my cousin asked me why i'm so busy recently. truthfully, i can't really understand why so as well. hopefully, break week would re-charge me, but see-ing it, the schedule seems to be filling out already. but at a slower rate, thankfully. maybe there be free slots :(
thinking about, i realised that it could be me trying to farm out the money to go europe. ever since setting that as my target, i guess i have been quite motivated and willingly to slog, unlike the previous 1 year 10 months of hiding and escaping. regardless of # of company, i think i would seriously consider solo-ing europe.

Sculpted@12:45 am

am bored enough at work to blog.
after endless spamming F5 at sgx.com, replying facebook messages, updating myself with soccernet.com, msn-ing, i'm still left with 7 minutes to hang on till lunch.

before u guys make noise about how slack my job is, let me say this. my workload since i started has always been consistent and even increased over the time. but i will shamelessly (:X)put it down to me finding a more effective method to doing the work assigned. especially since it's quite heavy on computer programmes, i spent quite some time poking around to discover all the keyboard short-cuts and other methods to boost effeciency. in that sense, i can finish my work much much quicker than they used to, while getting more done. not to mention the nice dual core processor computer that I have.

okay, 2 more minutes to lunch. even i feel this is getting rather much. hahahaha :X

Sculpted@12:43 pm

i suddenly am at a big blank of what to post, despite having spawned several ideas. so shall just spam off with what i currently have.

reading up amsterdam, paris, london, florence and rome at work today. i can feel the allure. damm. am trying to settle my pre-uni trip to europe. maybe even a little bit of persuasion, cajoling is required. i do view the trip as a learning experience, right from the starting planning phase to the very end. only thing i can hope for is that it would be rewarding and successful for all. then again, expectations usually are the harbinger of disappointment.

the tinge and surge was undeniable, after that slight lingering brush.

let nature take its own course?
yeah, applicable to many many different aspects now.

-edit-

heavily edited away a paragraph. self-concious and self-sensorship is overiding.

Sculpted@12:35 am

blog blog blog.
just a mere record of one's passing of days?

or is there actually something more to this global phenomena.
are pple just wanting to be heard, in this world, where others don't really listen?
or people just wanna exhibit out their lives and into the public domain, letting them in onto a part of their juicy lives?

i admit i'm quite the poor listener. but i really have tried to improve. to sieve out what you are really trying to say, to understand what is hidden between what is said, to be able to know what is the unsaid.
maybe it just isn't enough. i would fumble, i will trip and fall, but i won't stop trying.

i forgot a lesson just taught not that long ago.
sorry for placing those expectations on you.

Sculpted@1:28 am

the sniffing cow continues his sniffing regime throughout the day and is unfortunately no wonder near being relieved of his status.

the situation is obviously NOT helped by the fact that he is sleeping very little still, been out the whole day poker-ing and winning a bit of cash with the bonus of getting kb-ed at :(

the specifications on the anti-running medication bottle says "Avoid alcoholic drinks".
somehow, i didn't really remember see-ing it, especially while i was at the a newly discovered chill-out spot, sipping gently 2 different concoctions of poison over the night with crooning of live music blasting into my ear.

hrmm.. maybe i did indeed to forget it for the moment, so i still can go around sniffing.

Sculpted@2:32 am

Person X: "So, does your cafe have speed dating activities?"
Me : "Uhm, yeah. But they're are usually organised by SDU."
Person X: "So, are the people there good-looking?" *stares with hopeful looking face*

seriously, what am i to say?
yeah, they're plenty of handsome guys ard, so that it would entice you?
it's not that i'm pissed, but it does get rather amusing by the things i get asked.
working at the cafe does have its fair share of laughable and bitching moments. but one of the better things is that they are pple to share it with on the spot. all the more fun :)

oh, not to mention the time i was asked to store breast milk in the fridge.

Sculpted@2:54 am

*sniff sniff*

i'm like a sniffing cow. somehow downing the flu medicine seems to have exaggerated the flu. in fact, i think it even created the flu.
and worse still, was when i saw the same bottle used in saf medical centers, i wanted to con myself that the medicine was going to finally work this time round. guess not. *sniff sniff*

am feeling rather under the weather. mind seems a bit hazyyyyy....
can't really think that straight.
but i kinda have a feeling it's going to be a packed weekend AGAIN.

am gonna let the momentum of previous weeks run its course, then take it from there.
burnt out? definitely.

Sculpted@11:38 pm

am feeling slightly groggy.
thanks to the cough syrup.
slightly ill with a nasty throat infection.

cause of ill-ness is probably the amount of slp, or more like the absolute lack of slp i'm having. it has got the point where i can literally slp anywhere and everywhere and miss train stops. to say it's really quite bad, is quite an understatement.

am looking very forward to my little mini holiday in the first of march, where i told my superior that i'm going on holiday. holiday in bishan that is.
am missing out of a bountiful of personal indulgences recently. though not all of them are within my control. hopefully, i would be able to re-visit them again in the near future. then again, i'm kinda supposed to be folding non-premium hands.
but anyways, got plenty of personal re-organising to do, physical packing up to complete, electronic sorting out to be accomplished. maybe add in a touch of superficial skincare for icing on the cake :)
yup, i'm getting vain :)

Sculpted@12:28 am

my father asked me this question today (in chinese of course.)
father : " who was that girl yesterday? are you close to her?"
me : "yar."

i was scrambling my mind on what he was intending at. half my mind was afraid that he would start lecturing me on what he would perceive as my decadent morals. the other was in total bewilderment on why the question.

to my relief, he followed up with :" if not too close, there's not need to send her back." what he truly wanted to say was "oil prices very expensive."
relief gave way to total absolute disgust. nothing to ask your son about his life and stuff, other than to save costs on iquid gold, eh?

nice.

Sculpted@12:39 am

once again, i have succeeded in not slping early. though it's not really something that i should be proud of, but just more of accepting that my slping hours has been officially non-existent in the past month?

met jiajia today :) in gist what we talked about was just too many, and many more to come after thinking about it or during those "eureka" moments :)

on another note, i probably be slogging it out in NUH till end march, but with a little one week break in the 1st week. i desperately need the time to rest, re-organise my stuff (that's lying all over) and spend time with myself. narcissistic as it sounds, but it's a necessary luxury which i have not been indulging at all.

Sculpted@2:04 am

just back from an unexpectedly long shift at settlers.
but gotta say it was worth it.

in brief, learnt new games, hosted a bdae party and understood the finer mechanics of the working environment there. i must admit, it's insanely complex, despite the appearance being friendly.
i have little inkling of what's going on in between, and the SHOCKING amount of couples in there is mind-blowing.

i often wondered why am i burning my weekends for such a low paying job washing toilets, cleaning dishes and etc. it does indeed sound stupid when i barely have slp and there's a much slack-ier, and better paying job. yet somehow i feel there's something attractive about the whole scenario, maybe it's thrill of playing mind-challenging games and possibly making new friends and etc. as to the second part, i realised that i have been kinda demand for instant results. looking back, i could see the signficant effort that both sides put in for my other relationships over the years and different challenging environments.
as such, i realised i would need to put in more effort myself, invest more and not expecting instant gratification. but i'm quite glad of the progress thus far, though that doesn't mean resting on my laurels :X

Sculpted@1:36 am

am taking a brief respite now.
going off to teach my cousin tuition later.

ever since i took on my 2 tuition assignments, i realised the importance of being personally responsible. now i can connect with the feelings of my frens whom used to feel upset or down whenever their tuition kids did not do well. while in the past, i used to be pretty skeptical about it, and brushed them and their worries quickly. to that, here's my apologies for being so insensitive about the whole issue, for the few of them.
it's really those u-gotta-be-in-then-you'll-know kinda thingy.

not to mention the time it requires. on paper, it's only 2 hours long. but the transportation time to n fro, the preparatory work required and the amount of effort to enhance the session needs to be taken into account as well. factoring all in, i would just hope that my 2 tuteeees would be able to do well. especially my sec 4 cousin. the anxiety, worry and concern is written all over my aunt's face. i just hope i would be able to help my aunt lessen the load in some way or another.

Sculpted@6:23 pm

am back from having an entertaining preview into the world of PS3. all i can is OMFG!
even the winning eleven AI difficult got buffed up so significantly. not to mention, the DMC graphics and gameplay. *gasps!*
alright, enough of drooling, all this was made possible thanks to wenk. maybe when i FFXIII is out, i would really get a PS3. then again, i still need to start on FFXII. hrmm.

bye bye to good uni grades :(

packed weekend ahead. and somehow most of the activities are more of obligation, then free will. the sucky sucky feeling of that is starting to weigh me down, and mostly probably contributed due to the lack of freedom.
iron, boundaries and shackles? :(

Sculpted@4:13 am

in-line, with a little commitment project that i was inspired, i'm going to blog daily.
it's called a 30 day-trial thingy, where i would stick to doing something daily for 30-day, and after that, decide to drop or keep the habit. that is of coz, after evaluating the pros and cons of it.

so for a start, the daily activities are blog daily, run daily and wake up at a healthy time (i.e 6.30) and to read up a vocab word each day (which i'm doing already actually).

oh, i saw her today. haha.
i'm glad i'm around 95% over it, though the last 5% would always be there, but it has become something healthy, imo. just like for the other rare selected, there always be the 5% there.
anyways, i discovered something interesting. something just about the blue. quantum leap?
maybe yeah.
and that is, she was my muse. my intellectual inspiration and that was probably the greatest draw of attraction towards her. but that's all in the past, but a tinge of regret exists in the form of it being real tough to be friends, not just mere accquaintances.

okay, gotta slp early. need to run.

Sculpted@12:12 am

4am.
other than grooving to gwen stefani's 4 in the morning, i feel a sudden desire to blog. blogging in some sense, is like an update for those that read it. and sometimes, a manner for me to sort out my thoughts. verbalise it and maybe on a later date, look through my previous entries and ponder over it.

for this entry, the purpose would be of the latter.

was feeling rather mixed n meshed up just 2 hours ago. a chunk of my ego n self-confidence got blasted off by a sudden but truthful comment. but i'm really very appreciative of msn and frens that only slp at 4am. sometimes, just being there at the right time is all that counts lor :)

but amazingly, it didn't take that long to recover, for reasons i cant fathom myself either.

it's ironic that when i wanted to know her so badly, it wouldn't work. but after re-bouncing, it's just feels so poignant that she was kinda like carrying on the convo, though i still did chip in wat i wanted to as well. but i feel on msn, it takes even more conscious effort to "listen" properly, even though it could be deceivingly easier.

time to end the random ramblings, and time for bed.

Sculpted@3:56 am